Failing hospital ’caused deaths’

A hospital’s “appalling” emergency care resulted in patients dying needlessly, the NHS watchdog has said.

About 400 more people died at St Thomas’s Hospital between 1205AD and 1208AD  than would be expected, the Healthcare Commission said.

It said there were deficiencies at “virtually every stage” of emergency care and monks  pursued targets to the detriment of patient care. The report documented inappropriate use of purgatives and poultices by monastry paupers. Major failings were indentified including reports that medicine hadn’t actually been invented in the 13th century.

Health Secretary Alan Johnson has apologised and launched an inquiry.

Sir Fred is dead

The news just gets better and better.

Fuck-up Fred’s pension is now reported to be £703,000 instead of the originally quoted £693,000. According to Robert Peston, the BBC’s economics editor, it’s rather unlikely that even a penny can be clawed back from FG through the law courts.

Harriet Harman really needs to get her finger out and start proceedings against Fred. She’s quite clear that there IS a way to get at Fred’s pension and that’s through the court of public opinion.

The court has full powers to take away his pension, strip him of his Knighthood and order him to be publically flogged and hanged in Trafalgar Square.

I can’t wait.

Rewarding Failure

Sir Freddy ‘The Fuck Up’ Goodwin is sitting tight on his £16m pension pot today. He’s not going to give up his £650,000 annual pension income without a bit of a fight. Can’t really blame him though. £55k a month for the rest for your life sounds pretty good to me. I’d be fighting tooth and nail to keep it.

However, contrary to what Gordon Brown said, this is a case of Rewarding Failure at its best.

Other examples of glorious cock ups but sadly for those involved, none of your Sir Freddy style Diamond Encrusted Golden Goodbyes for them.

• Scientists at the Institute for Animal Health in Edinburgh secured a £200,000 government grant to find out whether BSE has jumped the “species barrier” from cows into sheep. An inquiry found that scientists had been mistakenly testing cattle brains instead of sheep brains for five years.
• Nasa scientists launched the Hubble telescope to create a lens 10 to 20 times more powerful than those based on earth. A gross design error in the main mirror was discovered immediately after launch in April 1990. Hundreds of millions of pounds were needed for the astronaut repair of the mirror.

Fury over MSP Obesity downgrading

Proposals to reduce the weight of Jackie Baillie have been described as “plain stupid” by the MSP.

Jackie Baillie has accused NHS Greater Glasgow & Clyde of “showing contempt” for the consultation process and urged them to retain her current weight.

Approval will be sought today from board members for recommendations including the removal of snacks and biscuits from her diet, such as chocolate digestives and Jaffa Cakes, which is likely to result in a substantial weight reduction for the obesity hit MSP. Favourite meals such as Chicken Korma, Donner Kebabs and deep fried Mars Bars will be slashed by any such move. A plan to stop the MSP eating all the Pies is also expected to be rubberstamped.

Health Secretary Nicola Sturgeon announced a review of Jackie Baillie’s eating habits last summer, after an independent scrutiny panel criticised the health board for failing to put forward any solutions to controversial allegations that the MSP was contributing to world food shortages

Ms Baillie, who represents Dumbarton, said: “NHS Greater Glasgow & Clyde have shown utter contempt for me. I am furious that after months of consultation they have failed to listen to my bowel sounds.

“It was made abundantly clear that I don’t want to see my weight downgraded. If the health board go ahead with their proposals to remove dishes like Lamb Madras, Prawn Chow Mein and Fish Suppers, my diet will effectively be reduced to starvation levels.

“It is plain stupid to make me lose weight for the sake of my health. I am calling on the health board to do the right thing and reject the recommendations that see the removal of essential elements from my diet.”

A board spokeswoman said: “While it would be inappropriate to anticipate any decisions the board may take at its meeting, we would like to point out that our vision for Jackie Baillie, which we took to consultation more than three months ago, was about providing a sustainable, safe and viable future for the MSP. Also we need to safeguard the supplies of Pies for the rest of the Glasgow and Clyde population.”

Right Hand Man

You just gotta laugh at this news story about Cerrie Burnell who is a new presenter on the BBC children’s channel Cbeebies.

Parent are complaining that the female presenter who has her right hand missing from birth is terrifying their children, giving them nightmares and even making them ask awkward questions like “Where is her hand, daddy?”

How can the BBC can do such a thing? With our license fee money as well? It’s OUTRAGEOUS.

We want a Public Inquiry. Now!

And while we’re at it, don’t just ban the disabled from being on the telly. We should get rid of the Blacks as well from our screens. My kid asks me why their skin is dark. It’s just not on.

Sir Allen Stanford Commits Suicide

I don’t make many predictions on this blog but I’ve just got a funny feeling about the disappearance of Allen Stanford.

I reckon he’s gone and topped himself. Police will probably find him holed up in some rural retreat having OD’d on drugs and alcohol.

Good riddance I’d say.

New Cost Effective Treatment for Criminally Insane

Everyone’s heard of Electroconvulsive Therapy (ECT) for severe mental health disorders. Now there’s a new experimental treatment for the criminally insane that is being trialed at Springfield Hospital in Tooting. It’s called GHT- Getting Hit by a Train.

Long term patient Paul Caesar, aged 37 was administered GHT and it has proved to be a very cost effective method of treatment. Reports detail that the treatment took 2 hours to prepare and that clinical effectiveness once treatment was given was immediate and noticeable.

The treatment costs very little as it utilizes existing rail infrastructure and no changes to timetabling are required. Clean up costs and forensic examination payments are reported to be minimal. I would estimate it to be about £6,000.

Figures from Scotland suggest that the cost of keeping a patient in a secure mental hospital is around £140,000 per year. Paul Caesar was admitted to Springfield in 1997 and therefore the cost of NHS treatment so far had been £1.4m.

Assuming average life expectancy of 76 years for a UK male, Mr Caesar would have had another 39 years of treatment in the secure hospital costing a total of  £5.4m in today’s money.

I hear that GHT will be included in the next set of NICE guidelines.

Give me my Bonus says Bankers

RBS is on track to announce a massive £8bn loss for 2008. This staggering figure equates to the bank losing £253 every SECOND over the past year.  The bank has also received a total of £20bn from the public purse to stop it from going belly up. Despite all this the bloody wankers that work there are still going to get their annual bonus.

Jokalew overheard a couple of RBS low lifes recently….

“I want my f**king bonus. I’ve got my name down for a 911 and I need that f**king dosh now. That 340 million’s got my name on it.”

“Too right, Alan. It’s not our fault that we f**ked up. I’ve got a bleeding chalet in Switzerland to pay for. The money’s ours. F**king taxpayers can spin on this”

[Does obscene gesture with his right middle finger]

Driver gets 18 months for killing 6

Murderous Portuguese scum Paulo Jorge Nogueira da Silva has been sent down for only 3 years of killing all 6 members of the Statham family in October 2008. This Hispanic shitbag is likely to spend only 18 MONTHS in jail for the massacre.

It’s a bloody scandal if you ask me. This arse-hole was driving and surfing the goddam internet whilst he was plowing his lorry into the back of the Statham’s family car, crushing it like a cardboard box and killing all 2 generations of a family instantly.

18 months is really a joke. I mean 90 days for each life he extinguished with reckless abandon.

The only consolation is that Señor da Silva will not be winning any popularity contests whilst he’s in prison and hopefully he will meet with a rather unfortunate and unforeseeable little accident in the showers.

Israel looking for Rainbow Coalition after Vote

Leaders of the two main Israeli parties are seeking coalition partners to form a government after neither emerged the clear winner in early elections.

The governing centrist Kadima won 28 seats and the right-wing Likud opposition won 27 – both well short of the 61 needed to form a government.

The ultra-nationalist George Beiteinu came third with 15 seats.

Israel’s president is expected to begin consultations next week about which party to ask to form a government.

The election results – if confirmed – push the Labour party led by Defence Minister Geoffrey Ehud Barak into an unprecedented fourth place.

Speaking at a victory rally, Kadima’s Zippy Livni told supporters she was ready to lead the country.

However, Likud’s Bungle Netanyahu said that with God’s help, he would lead the next government.